From: http://www.apple.com/macosx/techspecs/

Show #227 | 4/9/2007
Dax Pandhi talks WPF and Expression

Graphics guru and WPF wonk Dax Pandhi shares his thoughts on WPF, WPF/e, Expression suite in general, and Blend in particular. You'll hear the story of how Dax came to be the "Pwop graphics guy" as well as his contributions to the WPF community.

Dax Pandhi is the CEO of Nukeation Studios, an award winning UX studio, he is also a very recent MVP, and one of the first people to say that WPF will rock the world! He and his company have been helping clients prepare for and adopt Windows Presentation Foundation for their applications since 2005. Dax is committed to bridging the gap between developers and designers in the new world of User Experience. He spends his time helping UX-impaired developers adopt WPF, writing about WPF, and trying to get a life. http://www.dotnetrocks.com/default.aspx?showNum=227

...that one M. Andrew Eick of Farmington Hills, MI, USA is the most awesome guy on the planet. Even if his printer doesn't have any ink.

Thanks, man!

[Edit: Now if this isn't link love, nothing is! :)]

FUD of the Week: IDC Says Microsoft Will Drive Users to Linux
I'm a big fan of "This Is the Year of Desktop Linux" stories because, a) it has never happened, and b) it obviously will never happen. But that hasn't stopped the prescient analysts at IDC from predicting that Microsoft, ironically, will be responsible for driving users from Windows to, yes, Linux. How will this happen, you ask? Well, Microsoft's heavy-handed approach to software piracy is so onerous, IDC said, that users will go running to the relative safety and friendliness of Linux. Hey, it makes sense. Oh wait, no it doesn't.

It's Official: Google Is Evil
Apparently, Google's corporate mantra--"Do no evil"--includes a typo, because the company's behavior is decidedly evil. I'm not even sure where to start on this one. There's the license agreement for Google's phishing filter, which basically tells you that, yes, the company is going to give away your private information. Then there's the debacle of last week's release of a Google-branded version of Microsoft Internet Explorer (IE) 7, which conspicuously copied--in a blatant, wholehearted fashion--a similar Yahoo project. But my favorite little bit of fun out of Mordor--er, ah, Google--has got to be what happens if you try to change the default search provider on  version of IE 7 in which you've installed the Google toolbar. It actually prevents you from changing the search provider to anything other than Google, using a feature that presents itself as protection against other applications that are trying to surreptitiously change your search provider. And you know how often that happens.

Courtesy: www.winsupersite.com | Paul Thurrott's WinInfo UPDATE

A good family friend and the editor of Rediff.com (India's biggest portal) wrote an article about me and Nukeation.com is now temporarily out of service due to the Slashdot Effect.

If you're interested in knowing about my boring history, you can read the article at http://shrinkster.com/jmo or http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2006/nov/01outsource.htm. The story is also on the front page at rediff.com.

An incident today reminded me of an email I wrote (exactly) one year ago. I was reading WinInfo Daily Update SHORT TAKES, and had the sudden inspiration to write a very non-characteristic anti-Microsoft funny story and sent to Paul Thurrott who reportedly "spit coffee all over his monitor". This is my only anti-Microsoft story ever, so I thought I might as well immortalize it in public.

To give you some background in case you don't remember that SHORT TAKES, here's the truncated version:

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WinInfo Daily Update Short Takes August 5, 2005

==== Short Takes Blog ====
   by Paul Thurrott

It's been quite a week. Thanks to the release of Windows Vista Beta 1 last week, I've been inundated with email messages, many of which I haven't been able to reply to yet. I'll keep trying. But summer is usually a slow time, and as I've mentioned before, my family tries to spend as much time as possible at the beach during July and August. I wonder how ridiculous I'd look sitting on the beach with a laptop.

I expected that my Vista Beta 1 coverage would generate a lot of activity--and it did--but one thing that really took me by surprise was the reaction to my "Boycott IE" comments in an otherwise pretty mundane article about Microsoft Internet Explorer (IE) 7.0 Web standards support. I told Microsoft's Gary Schare and Chris Wilson that I frequently don't think through the effects my words can have. I know that sounds disingenuous, but it's true. I honestly thought nothing of the article; I've been recommending Firefox over IE for years. My mistake. Apparently, I'm leading a crusade now. Note to self: Think, then write.

On a related note, on Tuesday a minor post on my personal blog, the Internet Nexus, brought Microsoft down on me like a lead hammer. This incident, too, was completely unexpected. I can't discuss the post per se, but I will discuss Microsoft's interaction with me during this event because it was so silly. After demanding that I remove the post, which appears on a free blog read by about 12 people, I was told that I had violated a nondisclosure agreement (NDA--I hadn't) and that the information I had posted--in all its vagueness--was a Microsoft trade secret. I was also told that various people at Microsoft were "very upset" with me, although none of them contacted me directly. And yes, they have my phone number. So... I'm not sure what all this means. But like I said, it was quite a week.

==== Short Takes ====
   An irreverent look at some of the week's other stories, by Paul Thurrott

Windows Vista Hasn't Slipped to Late 2006
   I love the media--and not because I have the dubious distinction of living within its outer fringes. This week, I saw several reports noting that the release of Windows Vista had slipped yet again, this time to late 2006. I'm particularly amazed at the lack of research that went into those reports. At the annual Microsoft Financial Analysts Meeting a week ago, Microsoft Senior Vice President Will Poole noted that Vista won't ship until holiday season 2006, which places the release in the October 2006 to December 2006 time frame--exactly when the company said the OS would ship the last time it publicly discussed the date. However, some people saw this announcement as a slip from the "second half of 2006" time frame the company has also mentioned. News
flash: Vista has been expected in late 2006 for quite a while now. This "news" isn't new.

Download IE 7.0
   Although Microsoft intended to ship Microsoft Internet Explorer (IE) 7.0 Beta 1 only to private beta testers and Microsoft Developer Network
(MSDN) and TechNet subscribers, the browser began appearing on a variety of download sites this week, and Microsoft doesn't seem to be doing anything to stop the downloads. So if you're really interested in getting IE 7.0 Beta 1, here's your chance. Just don't say I didn't warn you. The browser overwrites IE 6.0, is buggy, and has compatibility problems with certain plug-ins. Still interested? OK; go nuts.
   http://list.windowsitpro.com/t?ctl=10337:25693

First Windows Vista Virus Appears
   Just a week after Microsoft shipped Vista Beta 1 to the world, the fledgling OS has been blessed with its first virus. OK, maybe blessed isn't the right word. (Come on, Paul. Think, then write.) An Austrian hacker has released a virus that uses Vista Beta 1's new command shell (code-named Monad) and actually includes a tutorial about writing other Monad-based viruses. "Monad will be like Linux's BASH [shell]," the hacker noted. "We will be able to make as huge and complex scripts as we do in Linux." The virus is categorized as proof-of-concept only and doesn't do anything harmful. But it raises some interesting concerns.

---

WARNING: The content of this e-mail is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblence to any person, organization, events, or other entities – living or dead – is purely coincidental.

---

Internal email from Microsoft Executive John Conner of the Inhuman Resources Division. Intercepted via temporal vortex created by the Microsoft Borg (formerly “Microsoft AntiSpyware”).

To: T-1000
CC: B. Gates
From: J. Conner
Subject: Termination Order
Importance: Urgent
Sensitivity: Medium
Sent: 2:39pm July 8, 2012

Our research division has shown that 87% users chose to uninstall the pre-installed version of Internet Explorer 7 in Windows Vista released last week. We did some extensive digging and have found that the root cause of this is a small “supposedly insignificant” article written by Paul Thurrott back in mid-2005 about boycotting IE. Our shares have dropped drastically because of this. Bill has personally asked for your “special touch” in this matter. He particularly praised your handling of that Netscape matter back around the turn of the millennium.

Your primary objective is: Terminate Paul Thurrott.

Direct termination is not an option. It is recommended that you travel back in time to August 2005, and instruct the SWAT Team (referred to as the Microsoft Legal Division back then) to start harassing Thurrott with petty matters at first. Get him all riled up. Facilitate a state of agitation. He will make mistakes. Our recon shows he is prone to writing before thinking. Take full advantage of that weakness. Once everyone starts dismissing him comments, and unsubscribes from his newsletter, you are authorized to enter the Thurrott residence and initiate termination protocols. Do not leave any evidence.

Secondary Objective: You are to self destruct after the primary objective is achieved. If possible, initiate self destruction inside the Mozilla foundation building.

Report to the Microsoft® Time® Machine® (formerly code name “Bull”) in Building 398 at 0700 hours tomorrow. I’ll see you off myself.

Thanks,

John

STANDING INSTRUCTIONS: Delete all e-mails regarding the Microsoft Inhuman Resources Division after reading them. Failure to do so will result in immediate termination.

Paul, don’t sit on your computer with your back to the window. If you see a red dot on your screen – duck! We are trying to salvage and send back an old T-800 model built to silently replace the former Californian Governor in 2004.

Good luck to all of us.

Tux

---

Now that I've blogged this, I'm going to go hide somewhere before Warner Bros, Arnie, Bill, Linus, or all of the above try to kill me. In case you are a lawyer for these parties, I didn't do it - I was in Cleveland that week!!

10 minutes ago, I recieved an email asking me to update my eBay account info. Seeing that it was obviously a phishing attempt (and that I don't have an account on eBay) I decided to ignore it. But I couldn't. I clicked the link, entered a random user and pass and got to this page, which I lovingly filled up and submitted.

If anyone else wants to do the same, please email me for the link.

PS. Do note the small print right under the CONTINUE button.

...that damn slave go?

Didn't you read the title?

Parvez Ansari, the new Chief Software Architect of Nukeation Studios, is being shown the world of Nukeation.

For those of you who don't know (seriously!?) the guy with the guitar is Carl Franklin.

Really, big, big, big things. Seriously, if you knew about it, your eyes and mouth would water. Your fingers would twitch.

I can't remember when I last knew something this important and mind boggling.

Do you want to know?

...

...

...

...

...

Do you REALLY want to know?

...

...

...

...

...

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Do you REALLY REALLY want to know?

...

...

...

...

Really?

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Can't tell you, sorry. NDA. What can I say?

Now this is one guy who should NOT be cloned. Ever. Why? Read on. This is part of an email conversation we had last night (reminded me of the days when IM was not yet born).

For those of joining us late, Andy Eick is a brilliant - albeit idiocyncratic - friend and client. And where the heck have you been?!

Andy, you knew I was gonna blog this. NDA me next time.

---

ANDY:

got my new pen [for tablet pc, tc 1100] today -- the eraser is really cool, adds a bunch
 
i totally give, i can't believe i'm asking for support on a freakin' pen.
 
It came with a small circular band? what the heck is that for?  it looks like a ring but it isn't a full circle.
 
Plus, Is there a trick to getting the button to work?  I have the tick box "use pen button to right click' ticked, but i still have to press and hold...

---

ME:

Ooooooh, I love this. I get to harpoon your ego. :D
 
The band we're talking of should have a slit in the middle with a sort of hole. Now you put your pen's nib in that hole, press the ring from the sides, and PULL. It's for pulling out the nib and replacing it. Took me a whole of 5-10 minutes to figure it out.
 
Normally, I would just assume that there is something wrong with the pen button receiver on your tablet than think you don't know how to use the freakin' right-click button. But after this ring thing, I wonder. Look, open the Tablet PC tutorial that ships by default, and see the animation that shows how to use it.
 
If you can't find the TPC tutorial and the animation, you are no longer worthy of having a tablet. Pack it in nicely and ship it to 380, Aiya Nagar, Bhuj, GUJ 370001 India. :D

---

ANDY:

normally, i'd come back with something smart alecy, but you know, i deserve this one. 
 
(Didn't even occur to me that you'd replace the nibs) -- and the right click thing, you hold the button, then tap the screen -- i was just pressing the button)

---

ME:

Oooooooooooooooooooooh, I KNEW IT! THINK, MAN, THINK! We can't have good, if not great, devs of our time not think of this! Seriously. I even WROTE the whole process in a previous email if you remember. I specifically said "hold button, tap screen while holding button". Sweet mother of God! Dude, c'mon!

---

ANDY:

do you think i got where i'm at today by "thinking" and "reading", puuhh-lease, thinking is for chumps.

---

ANDY:

btw -- let me revise that customer testimonial ---

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ME:

Threats, Mr. Eick? Really?

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ANDY:

moi?, never.  I did say this new pen has the eraser on it, no?

---

ME:

Why do I feel like James Bond strapped to a table and a laser beam is coming near my special place?

---

And to think I considered him sort of a mentor to me! Thankfully, I do learn from my mistakes, so after that last email, I changed the subject.

PS. the "real" (ie, less exciting) Andy can be seen at http://www.andyeick.com/professional.aspx

...this is crazy!

Recieved in email from Andy Eick:

So I'm gonna need to wait a week or so more for my sabers to get here. Here's the stuff I'm doing in the meantime:

• Playing Jedi Academy once in a while to get the feel of the lightsaber and some pretty hot moves.
• Buying replacements for the stuff I broke in my house while practicing the aforementioned moves.
• Using a thick whiteboard marker as a lightsaber hilt and practicing thrusts and parries.
• Apologizing to my colleague whom I drew red marker stripes on while practicing. Note to self: buy him a new shirt.
• Using a broom as a double-bladed lightsaber and practicing the moves.
• Thanking the Force for helping me not break anything this time.
• Building a special display case in my home office for the lightsaber.
• Thinking of starting a collection of different replices (including replica Katana blades and other types of swords).
• Might even take up fencing lessons if I can make the time.
• Practicing chopping of Dooku's head (using cabbage).
• Practicing kneeling in front of (imagined) Emperor Palpatine.
• Practicing killing people with a Force grip. (tho I'm still not able to call the TV remote from afar - now that's a Force power we all could use. That and using Force Sense to find the car keys)
• Wearing more black clothes (I already used to do that, so no biggie - being a graphic designer rocks)
• Trying to explain to men in white coats that I am mentally stable (note to self: get a certificate from the psychiatrist)
• Practicing being redeemed by my son near the end (note to self: get a son) (note to self: find a woman insanse enough)
• Playing more Jedi Academy.

Don't worry. I won't post photos of myself dressed in black, brandishing a red lightsaber. Well, not more than one or two, at least.

Yup. I did it. I just ordered me a Force FX vader lightsaber and a scaled replica of the Dooku's saber.

The Vader Lightsaber (on top, for the ignorant types - seriously, how could you not know the Dark Lord's blade?) has a red blade. Now all I need is one of those Vader masks to transmogrify my voice, and then a black cape. I will haunt the streets at night, waving a red lightsaber and scaring the stuffings out of the public!

Okay, so I'll just eagerly show it to friends and display it proudly in my office (along with the 80s authentic Snow Speeder model, the Delta-38 helmet I'm gonna make soon, and my almost half dozen Golden Web Awards ).

So, the statistics are:

~185 novels

~219 comics

~15 games

~2 lightsabers

~0 costumes (can't join the 501st yet, but that's a topic for another blog post)

Does this make me a freak? Hmmm. Be careful of your answer. Say the wrong thing and you just might have a red lightsaber'd phantom menace on your ass!! I may not control the Force, but I can sure kick your behind with an aluminum lightsaber!

The expensive replicas are next, but a bit farther into the future. My psychiatrist has suggested I start spending my money on food and clothes. Oh well.

Do note, my comments are only to inflame my C# opponent. I really don't hate C# nor do I seriously mean the stuff I say. Our friend "MC C#" keeps saying anti-VB/pro-C# stuff every hour on the hour. Suddenly, while I'm working, I get a message:

MC C# says: if there was a soccer match between vb team & C# team who will win?

Dax says: C#

<MC C# is presumably shocked by my reply>

Dax says: coz VB programmers are serious programers, they dont know how to play sports

It's 3:23am. I have to stay up about 6 more hours. I have to finish a project that has a severe deadline. I have a Skype conference scheduled with another client in 2 hours. I'm wasting valuable time I should be spending on debugging and testing on blogging!

Usually I can't sleep (I'm a very light sleeper, being an avid depressed pessimist and all, y'know) and today when I need to keep awake, I keep eyeing my bed (I work from a home office most of the time). There's a good movie on (Bicentennial Man) which I can't see because I'm working (heh, blogging more like). I have 11 Ghost in the Shell manga I picked up that I haven't read. I have The Elder Scrolls III: Tribunal installed, but haven't played. I have 6 articles I need to write that I haven't written. I have this cut on my left ring finger which stings like hell sometimes. I have a wireless keyboard that needs new batteries which I'm too lazy to go out and pick up (besides, everything is closed at 3:30 in the morning). And if you haven't noticed, I have lost the point I was trying to make or maybe I did make it and then kept on rambling. The crux of the matter is, usually I can't sleep (I'm a very light sleeper, being an avid depressed pessimist and all, y'know) and today when I need to keep awake, I keep eying my bed (I work from a home office most of the time). What did you say? Short term memory loss? Nope. I don't have it. Uhh... not that I can remember. Hmm.

It has happened before and before that too, and it is happening again. There's something about the toilet and Star Wars (uh oh, I just gave SW-haters an opening)... anyway, I am... uhh... y'know, doing the thing and suddenly the flush won't work. So, what do I do? I pull up my hood (I was wearing a hoody, coincidentaly... a black one that hid my face) and point to the flush handle and say:

"I know you want to. Flush it down and fulfill your destiny."

Nothing happened.

"Your feelings betray you. You hate the smell too. Do it!"

Nothing still. But I can sense a change. The impatience.

"Only I have the power to save Padmé."

Padmé? Padmé! What the fierfek...? As realization set in that I was mumbling Palpy's dialogs, I could feel the flush handle look at me quizically. I called the full power of the Dark Side, felt it swarm my very being, and I yelled UHHHNNN-LIHMITED POWWWWERRRR!! and slapped the handle again hard - and it flushed.

Over a quick dinner, I was going through the blog's logs (hey, that rhymes!) and here are the top 3 topics (not exact search strings) people google and stumble on my blog:

3: Star Wars / Philosophy about the Force

2: Avalon / WPF / WPF-E / WPF e-applications / WinFX

1: Republic Commando / Delta-38 & 07 & 40 & 62 / Vode An / Shadow Warriors / Fierfek (fyi, that's the Star Wars equivalent to the F word) / and the like

This apparently this would lead one to believe I'm more interested in the Deltas, Mando'a, and Katarn Armor than WPF. Don't let it fool you! WPF and the Deltas have an equal place in my heart. Unless Microsoft adds a knuckle-sheathed vibroblade - then WPF takes the #1 spot!! :D

Too much stress + too much Star Wars + (pre-existing) psychotic behaviour = dangerous.

Why? (Like you need to ask!)

Settling into my new PC ... well, half re-built old PC ... I decided to do something I haven't done since Windows 95 - name my hard drives. Now, can you guess what I named the four partitions?

Boss (C:) - Primary Drive / Windows / Programs / Websites

Scorch (D:) - Work files / graphics / animations / XAML / MSFT stuff

Sev (F:) - Windows Vista / WinFX

Fixer (G:) - Media files / downloads / Channel 9 / DNR / DNRTV / MONDAYS / etc.

And yes, I still play Republic Commando for an hour before going to bed. And yes, I have no personal life at the moment. And yes, I still am crazy about Republic Commando. And yes, of course I've earned the wrath of the unnamed someone who I was supposed to mention being crazy about (instead of a game...well, a beautifully made, exceptionally executed game - which is of Star Wars EU nonetheless!!). And yes, now I need that Katarn armor more than ever.

In the words of Scorch: "Need...bacta...now!"

It's happening again. Not only am I saying "What the kriff?" and "Stang!" and "May the Force be with you" all the time, my normal language is taking on Qui-Gon's tone as well. It was also pointed out that I have a Kenobi-like beard, but that's only coz I'm working [or reading] so much that I don't have time to shave.

So I'm in the bathroom while a friend kept messaging me on MSN. I came back and he asked "where the hell were you?" (of course, if I were in his shoes, I'd have said "Where in star's name were you?") and I answered, quite sagely, "I was fulfilling the sewer's destiny".

Star Wars vocubalary + toilet humor (even this is pun in this case). Now if this isn't the Dark Side, I don't know what is.

Well, not really an easter egg, but it is fun to find.

Carl was taking pictures to use in the first show and the intro. He started messing around with his guitar and took a photo and sent it to me to clean it up. I was waiting for 7GB worth of video to be rendered (which obviously takes a LONG time) so I had time on my hands. Carl came back and asked if I was able to clean it up. Here is what he got:

A thought provoking (or not) email conversation I just had with a friend.

Dax: My brain is dual-core – and both are unstable.

Andy: dual core?  Hmm,, I have 40000000000000000000 gig of brain power, just no refresh cycle.  you get 1hz of processing power, then all the knowledge is gone.

Dax: Wanna trade?

Andy: Trade what?

I got this in my junk mail folder. Its nice to see people sending jokes in spam now.

---

Dear Intending partner,

This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular.

I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government. In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the my community has no regards for woman, hence my desire for a foreign assistance. You can visit the BBC news broadcast below for better understanding of what I am talking about; [URL ripped out]

I have deposited the sum of 20 million dollars with a private security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any Investment opportunity.

This arrangement is known to you and my personal Attorney. He might be dealing with you directly for security reasons as the case may be.In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $20,000,000 that will be kept in your position for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahra, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family Estate/inheritance.

Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children.

In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please expedite action and all response to my email address below. NB / Please reply to : suha_arafat7@myway.com

Yours sincerely,

Mrs. Suha Arafat

---

Of course, if any of you want to try, please feel free. :)

And I'm still gonna keep quite!

I recently described the parameters that when fulfilled would make the person pathetic.

I've heard your futile excuses about why you met the parameters but aren't really pathetic. And I know who didn't say anything but DID read it! I have a hits log, remember? Yes, I know who you are, bub!

But let me soothe your pain and help you sleep easier. If my post was code, it wouldn't compile. And if it did compile, it would not return any results.

I said "If you're reading this at midnight on the 31st...". Do note WHEN the post was actually posted. January 1, 2006. So, you're not pathetic.

Of course, if its a matter of being in a later timezone and were reading at midnight, and as we all know time is curved, and that time does not exist, however time exists simultaneously accross all time, and if the past takes place in the future, and the future has effects in the past, and the same reason applies to why John Conner can't escape his future, however box office figures dictate when and how the past or the future can be changed and inconsitencies in the fabric of the space-time continuum can be ironed out with flashy special effects, so you are, in fact, pathetic.

I wonder what my old English teacher would say about my grammar.

... you need to get a life! You're pathetic. Almost as pathetic as someone writing this on his blog at midnight on the 31st. :P

Carefully look at the picture below. On top, marked in red, you will see the title of application. On the bottom, also marked in red, you will see an advertisement for the application itself.

C'mon, how hard can selective/filtered advertising be? This is like a commercial of a TV show being shown WHILE THAT SHOW IS ON. I mean, that's just stupid. Where the hell is all the personalization we keep hearing about, huh?

... when Dad starts imitating the Grinch ... or maybe its a natural pose. :-P

Have you ever noticed that there is a very thin line between cute and creepy when it comes to children's things. For example, CLOWNS. They scare me!

Maybe it has to do with growing up watching the Joker on Batman. Then again, if you take in the 60s Batman show, well, Batman scared me more than Joker in that one.

Darth Maul, the guy who scared everyone, was inspired by conceptul artist, Ian McCaig's fears of clowns.

Forget clowns. Take any nursery rhyme. Empty the stage, add some soft hollow music, or worse a simple monotonous piece of piano music, and with just a small twist in the voice, you can make a cutesy-pie children's song into something that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

If the children are the future, and an asset we need to safeguard, then why subject them to such cruel things?! If I had a kid, I would feel much better if he or she had a Darth Vader doll and practiced force-choking people than have a clown with shiny eyes!

Excuse me, I gotta go throw away some of my niece's toys!

If you can hook up a security camera with a face recognition software and some minor hydraulics to change your normal welcome mat with one of these... hmm... it could work. Would be nice. "Selective welcome insults".

...sucked!

3 Dwarves felt Happy. So Happy got up and left.

 

I didn't create this! Don't punch me!