I've always been fascinated and frightened of death - any form of "end". Personal death - my own death - would be a fascinating thing - hell, it would be an adventure (uhm, that "hell" was an exclamation, because I don't believe in hell [or heaven]- mostly because if I did that is where I'd be going).
For the past couple of years everything started ending. The sitcoms I always watched started ending one by one, the eternal sagas come to an end. I left the house where I spent the majority of my life until 2003. Frodo had to leave the Shire and go into the West. Will Riker went onto his own command, Data died. Anakin became Vader, Padme died. In the EU, Chewbacca, Anakin Solo, Admiral Ackbar, Ganner Rhysode, Wurth Skidder, Elogos A'kla, even Nom Anor died. Tahiri, Danni and other went away into the Unknown Regions with Zonama Sekot. And good TV (whatever was left of it) is dying with the so-called reality shows.
One big fear of mine has been the underdog I've been supporting and fighting for is now nearing it's end. In the last few years, Corel Corporation (www.corel.com) has been taken over more times than the middle eastern governments. Since v1.0, I've been a die hard CorelDRAW fan. Later on when Corel PhotoPaint was brought on, it became the most used software on my computer(s). For over 14 years, this is one software I've been using.
Now, I hear that there WON'T be a version 13. PhotoPaint has (finally) fallen behind Photoshop. In it's youth, Corel PhotoPaint (CPT) was what Photoshop copied features from! Now, PhotoShop CS2 is coming up with amazing features. For the past 3 years, this fear has been hanging over me like a sword. But I kept on pushing, knowing Corel will bring in one more version with some rocking features that will crush PS. And for the past 3 years, Corel has been disappointing me. Sure, they've added some cool features, but not ENOUGH.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a fiercly loyal to my friends and allies. And now like Anakin Skywalker, I'm being seduced by the Palpatine analog called Corel Painter IX. I've started shifting my painting creation from CPT to PIX. And I'm beginning to become loyal to it. It's no biggie - it's a COREL product (tho not originally). And it does have cool functionality. It still doesn't support ALL the cool things PhotoPaint can do, but... oh well. I'm still going to use both mediums.
But the deeper fear is that if there is no new version Corel PhotoPaint, I will need to switch to Photoshop. Photoshop with its undocked windows, and missing tools (hey, CPT STILL has tools PS doesn't!). I still pray to the Force that Corel has enough sense to create a new version with killer features. But what if it doesn't. Despair! I despair. Even though I know that despair leads to fear, and fear leads to hatred, and hatred leads to anger, and anger leads to the Dark Side! Oh Force, are you with me still? Does the Light Side still hold sway?
I fear the day when I cannot get a new version of PhotoPaint, and I'll have to leave it's beautiful customizable VBA architecture and embrace the Yuuzhan Vong software called Photoshop. Padme will die, hundreds of Padawans will die, and I will be using Photoshop!